Honoring Paul Domaruk

I knew Paul Domaruk as a soft-spoken, thoughtful guy who dedicated his career to urban forestry.  He was a key person at Treefolks, a fantastic nonprofit client based in Austin, Texas.  We help Treefolks with employee benefits, including their health insurance program. It was clear in dealing with the staff at Treefolks that Paul was respected and liked by everyone. I didn't know the half of it.

Paul died recently after a long battle with cancer.  I attended his memorial expecting an outpouring of grief from friends and family members.  That is to be expected.  To lose someone in the prime of his life with a beautiful wife and infant daughter is a tragic thing.  Sadly, in my line of work, you are going to see clients lose employees and loved ones.  What I did not expect was the depth and scope of the outpouring of grief, and thankfulness, from hundreds of friends and loved ones. 

Paul's memorial was the most powerful and inspiring service I've ever seen.  I have never experienced that many people in one place truly grieving, all at once.  You've no doubt heard the phrase "not a dry eye in the room."  This was a few hundred people literally sobbing together.  As painful as it was, there was also the sense that we were giving thanks for the life of a truly extraordinary person. 

For nearly 2 hours, dozens of people touched by Paul over the years stood to recount what he meant to them, how he helped them through a tough time, funny things he'd done, and special times they shared.  The stories were profound and telling.  Paul was a patient, positive, joyful presence in the lives of everyone around him. I kept thinking to myself "how did he have such an impact on so many people in just 33 years?" 

Although dozens of people gave eloquent and beatiful tributes to Paul, I can't stop thinking about one friend's comments.   A coworker, clearly not normally comfortable speaking to large audiences, got up to describe Paul.  He said his was a rough childhood, that he didn't have any "soft voices" in his life as a kid.  When he needed to escape, he'd run into the woods.  When he listened to the wind moving through the branches, the trees spoke to him.  Their soft voice calmed him.  That, he said, was the exact same feeling he got whenever he was with Paul.  Paul was the soft voice in his life.

It dawned on me that when we die, very few people will care what we did for a living or how well we did it.  If you're like the majority of the population, you won't have a day job that, in and of itself, thrills and fulfills you.  What they will care about is the lives you touched, the people you helped, and the contributions you made to the world around you.  By that measure, Paul's life was as rich as can be.  He enriched the lives of people around him his whole life.  What's more, he even dedicated his career to a cause that makes the world a better place.

It is so easy to get discouraged by all the bad news and problems around us.  Losing someone like Paul only seems to deplete the balance of goodness out there.  However, I am so glad that I got a glimpse into the life of such a wonderful person.  Thank God there are people like Paul who bring out the good in others.  We have to restore that balance of goodness, to find it in others, to bring it to others, in our daily lives.  That's how to remember and honor Paul.

For more about Paul and Treefolks, click here.

To donate to Treefolks, click here.